Ipsy May 2016 Review
It’s officially subscription box acquisition time. Ipsy arrived in my mailbox yesterday afternoon. This is the first month where there has been substantial differences in who got what. I’m not sure whether or not this will be the permanent state of things (moving to a more Birchbox-like system) or whether they will revert back to their old methods. I think I may actually be hoping for the latter, since it cuts back on disappointment. For example, I would have loved to try the Anastasia Clear Brow Gel that was sent out in this month’s bag, but I didn’t get it. If I hadn’t been hoping for it, what I got would have been less disappointing.
Alas, I got a bunch of stuff I’ll never use instead.
Zoya Nail Polish in Julie, retail value $8.00
Fancy nail polish bloggers put so much effort into making their nails
look impeccable, and I just sort of smear it on and peel off the weird
bits after wearing it for a while. So… sorry about that.
Julie is a pastel lilac with an icy shimmer. It took three coats to reach full opacity. It’s perfectly lovely and Zoya is a good brand, but I have so many nail polishes at this point that I have a difficult time getting really excited about it. Plus, the whole pastel-thing isn’t really to my taste. It might be great with some nail art, though. It’s a totally acceptable nail polish, it’s just that I wouldn’t have picked it up for myself.
Admittedly, since everyone got a Zoya nail polish and this was probably the most appealing of the colors that were sent out, I probably shouldn’t complain much about it.
Pacifica Island Vanilla Perfume Roll-On, retail value $12.00
This perfume is perfectly adequate, but it is a little bit bland. It mostly smells like a marshmallow, which is sort of juvenile. Additionally, the scent fades almost immediately.
Pacifica Coconut Crushed Pearl Bronzing Body Butter Mini, retail value $7.00
This is a very dark, very sparkly body butter, meaning that it combines pretty much everything I don’t use into one thing: it’s a tanning product, it’s a body butter, and it’s sparkly. I spread some on my boobs to see what I looked like with sparkly bronzed boobs, and it just made my face look weirdly pale. I might be able to use it as a lotion to massage the eczema on the bottoms of my feet, because who really cares if the soles of my feet are sparkly and mismatched? It’s more likely, though, that it will just sit sadly in my closet, neglected.
This product smells very vaguely like coconut, but in a soft, sad, non-committal way.
Yaby Concealer Refill in Honey (2g), approximate retail value $2.77
Honey? Honey?! Honey. There are lots of color descriptions that could hypothetically match the color of my skin. Honey is not one of them. I’ve had success with Birchbox kinda-sorta-almost matching the color of my skin. This… this is not close.
It seems like it has pretty decent opacity, but I am not putting it on my face to do any meaningful tests.
This, to me, is super irritating, because it is clear from the color they sent that they did not even try to match the color of my skin. I went into my profile and double checked and I definitely have my skin color listed as “light”. I can forgive “Oh we tried but it turns out this color isn’t quite right” but this clearly shows that they did not actually care.
Mirabella Shimmerati Glimmer Gloss, retail value $16.00
This is an absurdly priced lip gloss, that looks just like every other glittery red lip gloss that has ever been. The packaging, on the other hand, is unique and bizarre. The tube is wide, flat, and squishy. It doesn’t have a doe foot applicator, but it just has a slanted tip opening a la $2 drugstore lipglosses. The width ensures that, if you ever got to the end, you would not be able to actually use up the product.
There’s nothing wrong with the gloss itself. But, again… glitter. I’m not opposed to glitter in all situations, but a glittery fake-tanning product and a glittery red lip gloss do not a sophisticated look make.
Total Box Value: $45.77
Although that number seems perfectly adequate in terms of value, I didn’t really like a single thing that I got. Even the bag was tacky.
Hypothetically, a few small changes could have changed my opinion of the bag substantially, as there was nothing actually wrong with the gloss or the nail polish. If they sent me a color of concealer that was anything vaguely close to my skin tone and if they had replaced the body butter with the brow gel, the mediocrity of the other products might have been forgivable. As it is, though, I am really very annoyed that I payed for this.
If for some reason this convinced you to try Ipsy (which I can’t imagine that it did, but eh) and you’re feeling generous, feel free to use my referral link here.