LATEST ARTICLES

What the Hell Is Going On With the Tarte Cheek Stains? Jessica asks, "You should do a review of how much some Tarte products cost per ounce now that they changed their packaging to half or third the size and kept the prices the same." ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE. Unfortunately, I presume (since it was brought up), that I'm expected...
Review: Stila In the Moment Eyeshadow Palette Fun fact: purple is the best color (After all, who doesn't love a good non-spectral hue?). This is objective. You can trust me. Sometimes I talk about science on this blog. Fun fact #2: neutrals are the staple of all eyeshadows. An eyeshadow collection without neutrals is like a kitchen without salt. It's possible...
Wantable January 2017 Review I'm so fucking annoyed at this truly horrendous box that I have been procrastinating on dealing with it at all. At $36 a month, Wantable needs to be consistently stellar in order to be worth anyone's time. That means that a mediocre box is a "yeah, you probably don't want to subscribe to Wantable" indicator. But...
My Top 13 Products of 2017 There are two days that make sense for a "Best of the Year" post: New Years Eve and New Year's Day. Unfortunately, I am a procrastinator. If you're being generous, you could call me a prioritizer. However, that train of thought is only consistent if my priorities are: Actual Important Stuff Watching Arrested Development...
Review: Milani Color Statement Lipstick in High Voltage Milani is a brand I haven't explored much, possibly because their name reminds me of cookies, which are even more distracting than lipstick. Still, when a friend of mine suggested that I was throwing my life away by skipping the Milani Color Statement lipsticks, I managed to pick one up. (Definitely bought...
Cosmetics Company History: Shiseido In the year 578, Abdul Muttalib, the grandfather of the Islamic prophet Muhammad, died. The Byzantine Emperor, Julius II, also passed away. (He was succeeded by his general, Tiberius.) It was 11 years before the first historical reference to toilet paper. It was the time of both King Arthur and Beowolf. And, in the year 578,...
Review: Laura Mercier Lip Glacé in Bare Pink and Baby Doll The days you want to make an impression are not the days you want to wear Laura Mercier. If someone says, "In America, even teenage girls are overly made-up. And when you are overly made-up, you send out the message that you are overly sexual, that you want to...
Mathematical Navelgazing: 2017 In Bloggin As a part of my "Oh my god, it's not 2017 anymore, what the hell" review,  I decided to go through and determine what it is I've felt compelled to write about all year by categorizing and graphing the content from this blog. To do this, I divided my posts into fourteen general categories. The categories...
Ipsy December 2017 Review I wanted to start this post with a brief apology about my incredibly sporadic posting over the last couple of weeks. I've been drowning in work a bit and have been too tired to come home and do a lot of writing. I am never particularly good at meeting my goal of one post per day...
Birchbox December 2017 Review Sometimes, a beauty box is filled with fabulous goodies that fill you with joy and seasonally appropriate cheer. Other times, it's a beauty blogger nightmare that is so boring that it's difficult to even say anything about it. This is a story about the latter scenario. Y'all are lucky you didn't get a blank page and a...